


don't be sorry

by redrioting



Series: oikawa tooru deserves the hugs [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M, after second karasuno v seijou match!!, but like baby angst, i'm crap at writing angst, its baby angst okay, its sort of angsty at some point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 10:12:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8975413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redrioting/pseuds/redrioting
Summary: Oikawa Tooru is strong, but not always.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is my gift fic for @ theangelicalpha on tumblr! I'm your secret santa and I hope you like this ^o^

Oikawa Tooru is a conundrum.

A mess of whirlwind of raw emotions held under the chain of his steel will. Smiles that blind the truth behind his thoughts and words that cut through every layer of a person’s defence, a king among others in terms of wit and skill. Yet, Oikawa Tooru is also a hulking mass of sadness, of weaknesses and insecurities and flaws just as any other. Oikawa Tooru is in love with the stars and planets, space and what lies beyond, he is dedicated and passionate and _more_.

He is so much more; he is a universe of possibilities and yet keeps himself under lock and key with his only escape being impossible. Being trapped in one’s mind with thoughts bombarding them and fears surrounding them was difficult to leave.

Difficult alone, except made easy with a loophole in the form of Iwaizumi Hajime.

Iwaizumi Hajime; who burns brighter than fire and illuminates the world in ways that seem small but has the largest effect. Iwaizumi Hajime, the ace of Seijou who watched Oikawa wind himself up repeatedly, keeping up the image of perfection and aloof happiness to the point where few have begun to doubt his intelligence and make a mockery of his extreme care to his own looks.

Iwaizumi Hajime who watched Oikawa break down and crumble into pieces time after time, watched tears trail down his face, watched him cry and scream into a pillow. Iwaizumi Hajime who saw Oikawa become silent and stare aimlessly at a spot in the wall, knee propped up on Iwaizumi’s own thigh while the two sat on the coach, a documentary playing silently in the background.

It was Oikawa’s quietest moments that scared Iwaizumi the most.

When Oikawa drew into himself, the very ember that made Iwaizumi’s heart skip a beat and brought him so much joy evaporating before his eyes, when Oikawa’s eyes droop and the fascination and determination in them disappear to show an empty shell, a block against Oikawa’s emotions and inner turmoil.

Iwaizumi Hajime is a flame among many things to Oikawa Tooru.

Oikawa Tooru is the entire universe to Iwaizumi Hajime.

Iwaizumi would never let his universe drown in an ocean of self-pity or hatred, he’d smooth the skin around Oikawa’s knee brace and draw circles against his ankle, he’d shift closer and mumble a hushed ‘c’mere’ to Oikawa only to see his partner nod without paying attention. Then Iwaizumi would wrap one arm around Oikawa’s waist and the other around his shoulders, tugging him until Oikawa’s head rested against Iwaizumi’s neck.

“You’ve done better than any of us, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi would say. “You’ve fought harder and faster and more than us.”

“We’re a team because you exist to bring us together,” he continued, fingers moving to play with Oikawa’s hair. “You made Kunimi smile more and brought him and Matsun together, you taught us how to fight in a way our own senpais never have and you’ve done more for Seijou as a team in one day than others would in a whole school year.”

Oikawa wouldn’t move out of the position the two of them were in but Iwaizumi could feel a difference; Oikawa was tenser rather, his muscles no longer lax while he listened to what Iwaizumi had to say. He curled his hand in the fabric of Iwaizumi’s t-shirt and pressed his face closer to Iwaizumi’s neck, eyes tightly closed and throat aching while the emptiness in Oikawa’s chest begun to fill with all the emotions Oikawa’s built up over the past week.

Iwaizumi felt Oikawa shudder against him and the sharp intake of breath didn’t escape him either, he tightened his arms around Oikawa and pressed his lips to Oikawa’s temple, holding him while he cried.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Oikawa blubbered out, tears streaming down his face and eyes that were so devoid of emotion looked like a warzone.

Iwaizumi held Oikawa while he cried, for his team, for his last chance at Nationals, for Iwaizumi because he already knew that Oikawa blamed himself for all the failures of Seijou, believing that he failed his own team and failed Iwaizumi.

“Don’t be, Tooru.”

**Author's Note:**

> i attempted to write
> 
> again, it was an attempt idk what happened aha
> 
> I'm working on the part two to this right now, this part as tiny buuut i wanted to seperate it into two bits because I'm gifting the second half to a user on tumblr >.<
> 
> scream at me at shouyouohno.tumblr.com


End file.
